


Chasing Cars

by nirvanacal



Series: Bullet [3]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5 Seconds of Summer - Freeform, 5SOS - Freeform, Cake 5sos - Freeform, Calum Hood - Freeform, Depressed Luke, Depressing, Depression, Insecure Luke, Luke Hemmings - Freeform, M/M, Razor - Freeform, Razors, Sad, Sad Luke, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, cake hoodings, cut, depressed, fuck tags, suicidal, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-14 07:09:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5734240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nirvanacal/pseuds/nirvanacal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"When does depression end?" </p>
<p>"When it ends you."</p>
<p>The hospital managed to save Luke from dying, once again, however Calum isn't sure if Luke will ever give up trying to kill himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chasing Cars

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys so I decided to change things up, and add an extra part before the end of the story.
> 
> after this chapter thingy, there will be one more to finish off the series.
> 
> also, im very sorry I haven't updated this series for probably 2 years, ive been very busy with school and I completely forgot I was writing these things at one point. I also never had the inspiration to continue writing, even on my wattpad account (Just_To_Kool). ive been extremely lazy and I apologise.

**Chasing Cars**

* * *

****After Luke was rushed off to the hospital, Calum got a ride with Ben and Jack, while Luke’s mum stayed home to think about this whole situation happening again, and to call her ex husband.

Calum was afraid – afraid of what the doctors will say to him when they arrive, and when they find out if Luke will survive this or not.

“I’m such a terrible brother!” Jack cries, looking mad, “I should’ve known this could’ve happened again.”

“It’s okay. It’s not just your fault.” Ben speaks up.

“But it’s part of my fault that he tried to _kill himself_! Just thinking about that makes me sick.”

While the two brothers bickered on about whose fault it was, Calum just stood there quietly, not saying a word. He couldn’t say anything. He just could not speak.

“But do you know what’s worse of all?” Calum questions, finally being able to get his body to talk.

“What?” Jack asks, wiping his tears away.

“thinking someone’s okay when they’re not, and believing that they’re completely fine, when really, they were suffering...maybe even more then the last time, and I wasn’t there to help nor was I there for him to talk to me about anything he was struggling with. I’m his best friend; I should be the one that he talks to me about everything with. That’s not the saddest part though, he obviously thought I didn’t care enough or at all for him to tell me anything. I should’ve constantly reminded him I cared, but I never did or thought of it that way.” Calum says quietly, and tear rolling down his face.

“It’ll be okay. Luke will turn out to be okay, and he’ll realise he never wants to die again!” Ben says, trying to cheer Jack and Calum up, but Calum somehow knew that this wasn’t going to be the last time Luke tried to do something like this again.

+

It had been a few long weeks since Luke was first brought to the hospital. Everything turned out to be okay. Luke woke up, but he had to stay at the hospital for a few more weeks just to make sure his health is okay for him to leave.

During that time, Calum regularly visited Luke, gifting him flowers and chocolate. He couldn’t visit every day, because of school, homework and studies, but he tried his best to see him when he could after school.

Calum was now lying in bed, going through Luke’s phone. He had asked Jack if he could borrow his phone for a few days, so he could check up on some things.

Right now, he was going through Luke’s Facebook profile. Under his one profile picture, there seemed to be way more comments than likes, however, the comments weren’t good.

Some said “ugly”, “kys”, “You deserve to die” etc. Calum couldn’t read anymore, so he shut down Luke’s Facebook account, twitter, Instagram and more. Luke didn’t deserve all this. He was such a sweet and genuine guy.

+

Luke finally returned home, and was looking healthier than ever. The doctors suggested signing Luke up for therapy, but Luke didn’t want to do it, and his mother didn’t care enough to send him there.

Calum was his cure.

Luke was lying outside on his lawn that night, staring up at the stares, and Calum couldn’t sleep.

It was around 12 in the morning, when Calum decided to take a little trip to Luke’s house. When he saw Luke on the ground, he chuckled.

“It’s a little late for you to be outside.”

“It’s a little late for you to be here.”

“Ouch.” Calum acted hurt, putting his hand to his heart.

“Why are you here?” Luke questions, turning his face to meet Calum’s.

“Couldn’t sleep.” Calum answers, walking towards Luke, lying down next to him. He made sure their shoulders could touch when he did.

They lied there in perfect silence, star gazing.

Luke wanted to be a star. Die, and become something bright. He always felt like he was living in the darkness, seeing his life as only something stopping him from becoming something beautiful; so beautiful, people like to stare at and feel so much emotions at once. He wants to be something people can stare at and feel so much more relaxed, or in love.

That’s what both of the boys were feeling at the moment.

The same song popped up into their heads. It played quietly as they both enjoyed the silence.

_If I lay here,_

_If I just lay here,_

_Would you lie next to me and,_

_Just forget the world._

Suddenly, Calum thought of something he does not know the answer too, but Luke would be the best person to answer it.

“When does depression end?”

Luke thought for a moment. There were so many different things to say, and different ways to say it – he just had to find the right way.

“When it ends you.”

He didn’t mean for it to sound so wise. He knew answering a question of something that serious, that whatever he said would be deep.

“I’m sorry, Luke.” Calum apologises.

“For what?” Luke asks, bluntly. There was no sound of emotion when he said that. He’s used to people screwing him over.

“For you having such a hard life. I don’t know if I would ever be as strong as you,” Calum sighs, “I’m also sorry for not being that best a person should have.”

“You’re a good friend.”

“But I was never there for you and you needed me. Well, you didn’t exactly tell me anything, but I assume that’s my fault, because I could’ve showed I care more. I care at lot...so much.”

“It’s not that I didn’t trust you, it’s that I was afraid you’d get sick of me annoying you with my problems all the time and leave.” Luke shut his eyes.

“I would never leave you, Luke.”

Luke opened his eyes again, looking at Calum. Calum looked back, their eyes gazing into each other’s like their eyes were the galaxy, and their hearts were a star.

Calum then did what he was meant to do this whole time of knowing Luke.

He leaned in and kissed him.

Luke was shocked, but he responded instantly. Once they broke apart, Luke smiled. He then kissed Calum back with so much love and passion. They opened their mouths and let their tongues dance together, happily.

They loved each other.

They didn’t want the ugly world and society to stop them from being happy, either.

However, it’s a tough life.

And sometimes, life isn’t for everyone.

**Author's Note:**

> this way, not all of the chapters will have a suicide ending ;)
> 
> I hope you liked this one, and sorry it was so much shorter than the others, I guess this one was more of a filler than a serious chapter.
> 
> see you again in the next story !:))


End file.
